4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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