Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
