So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
