I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
