So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
