Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
