3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
