Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
bring money and cleavage
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
