if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
