god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
