i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
