i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
