Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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