Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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