I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
