just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
