Bisexual people are plain selfish.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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