At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
