2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
