She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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