god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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