Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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