if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
being pregnant is like rehab
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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