ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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