you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
