I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
