There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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