I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
high people should be assigned attendants
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
