How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
