Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
