drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
