Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
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