i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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