what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
