There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
