My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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