he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
ttyl tear gas
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
