I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
