were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
