Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
