Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
