Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We need to feng shui this bitch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
