The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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