70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
