She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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