I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
