Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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