I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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