So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
try to milk me bitch
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