If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
