It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
